Doylestown is loaded with therapists! Per capita, there are 2 therapists to every citizen. (Ok - not really I am exaggerating but it sure feels that way.) How do you pick just the right one for you out of a sea of candidates? You INTERVIEW them. You might be thinking, “What? Jan, don’t make me do this, please! I’m nervous speaking on the phone plus I have no idea what to ask them!” I get it, it takes guts to pick up that phone and tell a total stranger your most searing pain. I’ve been there and done it myself- more than once. I’ve also spoken to hundreds of potential clients searching for a counselor and tried to help them figure out if I am the therapist that could help them. I’d like to use my experience to help you.
How to begin? The first step is to identify some candidates. Of course, you can use a Google search and put in your zip code to find the closest ones but the richest place to find them is on Psychology Today (www.psychologytoday.com). Here you will find scads of social workers, psychologists, and marriage and family therapists to pick from. You can narrow it down by putting in your zip code to ensure they are close by and by searching the specialty you need expertise in. (Trauma, marital, CBT, sex, psychodynamic, etc.) On the self-written profiles, you can find out where the counselors were trained, in what modality, how many years in practice, and what population they treat. You also get a snippet of the way they think and speak by reading the “about me” section of their profile. Not so bad so far, right?
Now, what to do next? Select 3-4 to interview. This might seem tough because they all seem so nice as you read their profiles and maybe even visit their websites. All of them talk about doing a consultation. But what should you ask? What should you say? What is appropriate?
There might be nothing more intimidating than asking someone you need help from what their credentials are. You don’t want to get them annoyed with you before they’ve even met you, yet this is an investment in time and money and you need a therapist who has the expertise, experience, and compassion to help you with your problems. For starters, a therapist should get this as part of the process and shouldn’t get offended at this. Despite that, this might still be challenging when you aren’t exactly sure what kind of help your personal problem would benefit from. Even if you know that part, how are you supposed to know what a good therapist sounds like? This might overwhelm you so badly that you put off the call or that you freeze up and take the therapist’s lead. Stay the course, notice your own experience with them and don’t cheese out! Because I don’t want you to have to do this alone I am here to help you. I’ve come up with some questions to help you do this with some finesse.
Questions to ask a Therapist in Doylestown
Do you have availability for new clients?
Many established therapists find themselves with a full caseload especially during certain times of the year. In my practice, it seems that the busiest months are October and November. After the summer is over most people’s responsibilities increase - back to work and school, packing lunches and getting kids to do homework, often is a stressful time of the year and it seems to be the marker for those struggling to start paying attention to the pain they have been putting off over the summer. Most therapists notice this increase in the fall. Other very popular times to shop for a therapist include right before and after the holidays. These, of course, are times of stress for most of us. Spending time with family members and the accompanying dysfunctional family dynamics often creates conflicts and drama, stirring up childhood pain. Many therapists will close to new clients during these busy times because they actually can’t fit one more client in their schedule without losing their own needed time with family, friends, and fun. Before you ask any other questions start with this one as it could be over before it began!
Do you have any availability during the evening and weekend hours?
Evenings and weekend hours are prime time for therapists in private practice and often are the first appointments filled. If you need hours that don’t conflict with traditional work hours this needs to be your second question - especially if the therapist already has a full-ish caseload. Another thing to consider is that if the therapist doesn’t have a schedule that fits around your work hours perhaps you can come at your lunch hour when at work or take PTO an hour at a time. For some, working from home offers the ability to sneak away for an hour so you might not have to say good-bye to that new therapist who looked so promising!
Do you have post-grad training in ____________________?
Finding a therapist that is going to help you sort out your problems can be made easier if you select someone who has post-grad training in the very area you are having trouble with. Post-grad training refers to training that has occurred after the completion of the therapists’ Masters or Doctorate degree. Most of we therapists learned the philosophy and theory of our professions in grad school but did not learn actually how to deliver therapy. How to operationalize change for people who are sad, depleted, angry, defeated is tricky business! How to help a client notice where they are shooting themselves in the foot from getting their needs met by either themselves or the relationships they have with others requires breaking those large goals down into tiny baby steps. Being able to see the client’s problem accurately, making the client feel understood, and supporting the changes that the client needs to make, with all of their individualized background noise is both a science and an art. Most great therapists have been taught a model of treatment through training which involved 1-3 years of part-time classes and supervision. I myself have been involved in 3 rounds of post-grad training in family, couples and sex therapies. I combine them all and the therapy I offer is an amalgam of them all.
Do you engage in supervision currently?
Any licensed clinician had had to accomplish thousands of hours of supervision and client hours based on the requirements of the state they worked in post-graduation from their Master’s program. Having a second set of eyes on one’s work is immensely helpful not only for the beginner therapist but also for the seasoned therapist. In my world supervision is for life! Supervision is most often conducted either in person or by Skype where the clinician hires an experienced and usually gifted therapist supervisor to help them learn to both see and treat a case accurately. As humans, we are limited by our own lens so it’s a wonderful resource to have another set of experienced eyes to view a case from. The supervisor may correct the way we have identified the problem and can suggest alternate interventions unconsidered prior to creating change for the clients. I have often been helped with cases I was stumped on by the use of supervision.
Do you have experience treating this kind of problem? How many cases have you dealt with related to this problem?
Your teacher was right, practice makes perfect. When searching for a counselor finding one who has experience in working with a certain population, for example, men with erectile dysfunction, or working with teenagers, can speed treatment. Being able to identify the problem with accuracy and getting a variety of interventions to address the problem can only help the situation. Having a therapist who is freaking out on the inside and scrambling to figure out how to help you isn’t a good situation because the therapist gets preoccupied with calming themselves down instead of tracking within the session. Certainly, if the therapist doesn’t have a lot of experience, finding one who uses supervision can replace the ideal - one with experience.
What do you do if we get stuck and things don’t get better after working awhile?
It’s not uncommon to get stuck in therapy. In fact, it’s often part of the therapeutic process. Because it’s so common the therapist should have a plan for when things get stuck. In working with couples in my practice my go-to plan is to first have the couple identify and discuss where they believe they each are stuck. If after working on this it doesn’t free things up then I suggest working individually for a couple of sessions with each member of the couple. If this is unsuccessful then I suggest each member of the couple start their own individual treatment with a separate individual therapist so as to better work on what it is that they aren’t aware of or aren’t saying in the couple’s work. Almost always doing the individual work frees people up to better express what they want during therapy which keeps the therapy moving and making traction.
After speaking ask yourself, “ How do I feel?”
I think finding a therapist isn’t so different from selecting a friend. You know that lovely feeling you get when you make a connection with someone? The one where you feel seen heard and felt. You know, the one that leaves you wanting more because it feels so darn good to be understood? That’s the feeling you are looking for with a new counselor. The same qualities you look for in a friend (not the friend you plan crazy antics with - sorry) are the ones you are looking for in a therapist. I myself have valued working with a therapist who has had a sense of humor. (If we can’t laugh together, we can’t cry together, in my book!) You might feel like you need a therapist who is serious or one who is quiet or maybe even one who is very active in the sessions. Identifying what you need as you are speaking with them and paying attention to your body’s response, (Do you relax or tense up? Do you feel you listened to enough? Are they responsive to your pain? Do they ask questions that are appropriate and illuminating? Do you feel a resonance as you speak and they respond? Do they tell you how they might approach your problem? Do you wish they gave you more verbal feedback? etc.) will give you the necessary information you need to make your selection. The magic is in being in your body and seeing how you feel WHILE you are talking to them. Listening to your gut feeling is paramount. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. You’ve got this!
I hope this helped you find the right therapist in Doylestown If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at (215) 272-1161 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to just the right person. If you are looking for help with sexual health problems, affair recovery, couples relationship problems, out of control sexual behavior or wanting men’s psychotherapy you can read more about how I can help here.